Boxing it Up for Christmas Self Help Articles | November 2 Patric Hornqvist Jersey Youth , 2003 If there?s one thing your ... child would like for ... more than anything else in the whole world, it?s a room with a door that ... not as simple as asking for one. And by the wa
If there?s one thing your introverted child would like for Christmas more than anything else in the whole world, it?s a room with a door that closes.
It?s not as simple as asking for one. And by the way, a closet will do and even a big box as you?ll see. That?s how strong the need is for an introvert to have a place of their own. Introverts are territorial because of their great need for personal space. It?s important to their sense of well being, their mental and emotional health.
If a child wants to go in their room and close the door, extroverted parents may interpret this behavior as rejection, or worse, being secretive and anti-social. They wonder Evgeni Malkin Jersey Youth , ?What?s she hiding? What?s wrong with him? Why doesn?t she want to be part of the family?? These are legitimate concerns and since your child can?t answer, I?d like to explain for them.
There are two reasons, both healthy. (1) One of the reasons is something few people know. Introverts give energy and extroverts receive energy. When introverts are out in the world, because they give energy to other people, they can be drained during the day. That person you see over there who?s the life of the party? He?s an extrovert and he would be drained if he had to be by himself tonight. The attention he?s getting nurtures him. He thrives on it. It fills him up and makes him feel he?s alive.
And who?s giving him that attention? Likely it?s an introvert.
Whenever you see a crowd of people, extroverts are receiving energy and introverts are giving energy. Introverts need to spend about half their time alone, to fill back up again. It?s not that we don?t love people!
However, there are many introverts who withdraw later in life because they have had such difficulty being understood and getting their needs met Kris Letang Jersey Youth , they find it easier to ?do without?. With your help, your introverted child can learn to identify his or her needs and ask for them. But first you must understood in order to give them the support they need.
Let?s think for a moment about your child?s school day. As much as fifty percent of the learning that?s done in lower school is how to become part of society, part of the group. Kids learn how to raise their hands, take turns, line up properly, wait their turn, sit still, use good manners Nick Bjugstad Jersey Youth , ask politely for what they want, listen to and follow instructions. These are social skills. They require interaction.
In addition, your child?s day can consist of walking to school with others, watching out for a younger sibling, riding a noisy crowded bus, classroom interaction with 20 to 40 other children, figuring out the omnipotent teacher and principal (in middle school, more than one) Jared McCann Jersey Youth , eating lunch in a big noisy cafeteria, dressing for gym in a crowded noisy locker room, participating in ?teams? and getting the team spirit. After school there are other activities that require socializing, including private music lessons, Brownies and Cub Scouts and sports practice. Socializing is stressful to introverts and they receive no inherent rewards from it.
As your child gets older, there is pressure to join clubs, take part in extracurricular activities, become part of a clique or group Bryan Rust Jersey Youth , get dates, go to dances, volunteer or sing in the choir in spare time, join the church car wash on the weekends, spend time caring for aging relatives, etc..
Many children are assured that they will not be successful in life if they don?t get into the right college. They are told that this requires a resume full of activities that show ?leadership ability?. The activities I?ve mentioned are hard wired for the pleasure and satisfaction of extroverts, who make up 60 to 75% of the school population (indeed of American society). They can be deadly to introverts. [See www.benizer.org on the cost of falsifying type]
If your child is introverted, he or she is in the minority and has the added stress of coping with a world set up by aliens! The ratio of extroverts to introverts is about three to one. It might help if you?re an extrovert to imagine yourself forced to spend a vacation on an island with no modern conveniences Justin Schultz Jersey Youth , no tv, no other people or animals, no electric lights, radios or passive entertainment. Does the thought drive you crazy? Then imagine being made to feel like there was something wrong with you because you couldn?t ?cope? with this environment. Imagine being forced to learn ?skills? to ?succeed? on this island world, as if this were ?the? world. Imagine having to do this for at least ten hours a day for the rest of your life.
A hermit?s existence is actually something that could make an introvert smile. ?What so horrible about that?? we wonder. Extroverted babies move toward sound, light, objects and people. .Introverted babies move away from them. As they grow older, introverts are attracted to stress free environments such as ? a room of their own where they can ? minimize the things they find distracting ? i.e. Jack Johnson Jersey Youth , you guess it, close the door!